AA sponsorship

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me “Get a sponsor” when I first came into AA, I would be very rich. Did I listen? Of course not. I didn’t need a sponsor, I told myself. Sound familiar to anyone listening?

When I came out of Hazelden last summer, I did pick a sponsor who I thought was a good fit. He wasn’t. I talked to him maybe a handful of times. I should have found a better fit, but I thought going to 90 meetings in 90 days was sufficient. It wasn’t.

After this latest and hopefully last relapse, I asked “Matt” if he could be my sponsor. I was in an AWOL (Another Way Of Life) with Matt which is an intensive weekly step meeting with the same guys every week. Matt has some 15 years sobriety and is a complete hard-ass. He goes to a ton of meetings and has very high expectations. Exactly what I need. He requires that I call him every day, no exceptions unless you are on your deathbed. And he always asks if I’m still sober. I’m terrified to drink because he will kick my rear! I already missed a call, and he reamed me a new anus the next day. He also loves to bring up the times when I’ve hit bottom to remind me of how horrible it felt.

Tonight, he is taking me to a “commitment” at the local hospital to have a meeting at the detox ward. He said “it should make me feel less fucked up.”

We’ll see…that’s tough to do right now.

One day at a time…


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